Lessons in Acting #15 – Sport

It’s all getting a bit surreal on planet sport these days. Last week we had Dida’s theatrics to laugh and have a little chinwag about. Uefa yesterday came down heavy on the Milan goalkeeper and gave Dida a two-match ban. Waffler fully expects the Brazilian to be cheered up with some nominations for acting awards. Better than some of the actors in Fair City, I tell ya.

Anyway on to this week and it seems that Dida isn’t the only sports star going to acting lessons.

Lesson 1: Doug Howlett 
The ‘I’m really really sorry’ approach has always gone some way to healing the hurt of a nation. Here, Doug displays his emotions and tells how he’s let down New Zealand, his teammates, his family, his dog, and Larry down the road. But have a look at the first 30 seconds and try to work out whether he’s apologising for what the All Blacks did on the pitch in Cardiff or if he’s sorry for getting hammered in London and jumping on a few cars. Trust me, it’s a little difficult and could almost be applied to both… except for the fact he wasn’t involved in the All Black team in Cardiff. Anyway, good to see Doug got his hair done for the occasion… he’ll fit right in with Munster.

Lesson 2: Kenny Rogers
If the appearance of Kenny Rogers isn’t scary enough, the Daily Telegraph seems to have taken the time to visit his house, knock on his door, give him an England jersey and a script. Worrying. I have to wonder if Kenny had any idea of what he was actually doing or did he think he was just ‘doing it for the fans’? What makes it even more worrying is what he actually says. He congratulates England for ‘wrecking the Aussies for life’ and goes on to tell the team that if they can’t beat ‘those French bastards’, then they’re doomed. Oh and Kenny will stop supporting the English rugby team. Bloody hell, what’s worse: Kenny Rogers sending you his love or Kenny Rogers singing ‘The Gambler’ in a rugby shirt? Maybe he was drugged…? Waffler understands that the French and Australian Kenny Rogers fan clubs have organised a mass CD-burning in retaliation…

Lesson 3: Chris Kamara
Ok, ok, I know that most people have probably seen this one by now but it’s so hilarious it needs a mention. No acting going on, just pure football commentating at it’s best. Ah, the joys of live television. Next week, John Giles falls off his chair trying to commentate on Ireland v Cyprus…

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~ by waffler on October 12, 2007.

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