Léim, Léim, Gach Duine Léim

Ah the days of being at the Teenage Disco and bopping around to House of Pain’s ‘Jump Around’. Ok I lie, all teenagers ever did to this song was, well, jump. And bump into each other. And fall down.  Anyway due to the Irish-American roots of House of Pain, you’ll still find the song played at those dishcos down the country. You know, usually between the slow set (something from a Patrick Swayze movie) and Amhrán na bhFiann?!

Anyway, Des Bishop’s documentary In the Name of the Fada has been following the Irish-American as he attempts to learn the Irish language; and judging by last Thursday’s programme, Des has more Irish than about 75 per cent of the population. Fair  play to him… or should that be féarplé? If anything, the programme strikes you as to how bloody easy the Irish language is and how bloody difficult the education system makes it seem. Des did the Foundation Level Irish and proclaimed that if, after 14 years of learning a language, you are reduced to matching words and pictures in an exam there is seriously something wrong with you.

But could it be that this series can spawn a hit single? As part of the programme, Des enlisted the help of a friend to translate, yep you’ve guessed it, Jump Around. The result? Well, take a look yourself. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Léimigí Thart…

More :: Download Des Bishop’s Léimigí Thart

More :: Watch In the Name of the Fada

Great moments of our Political Times #1

From the archives, let’s get down and dirty with political life on this little island of ours. Yes, it’s TD-come-rent-a-quote Conor Lenihan showing fantastic knowledge of Turkey and its culture with a quote that he is still to live down…

Michael Corcoran. Legend.

Waffler was always a fan of radio commentary. Think about it. How does one get across the spirit of a game when the listener can’t see the game? Step forward, Michael Corcoran. Long standing rugby commentator, Michael has seen plenty of highs and lows. And after seeing the failure of Leinster in the Heineken Cup, it was left to Munster to fight their way out of the ‘Pool of Death’.

I used to think that Gabriel Egan at the Euro ’88 finals against England was one of the great pieces of commentary. But have a listen to Corcoran almost have a heart attack as O’Gara breaks after 22 phases, passes to Leamy who dodges one challenge and falls over the line.

Clicky here.

And if you’re wondering about the visuals…

Spot the Difference #2

Waffler has just spotted the new series of ads for Cadbury’s Creme Egg. I know, I know we’re just over Christmas, yada, yada, but in fairness to Cadbury, Easter does happen in March this year.

Enough of that. It was just while watching them that I realised, someone in the advertisers must have got a certain Bunny Suicide book for Christmas? Observe:

Exhibit A: 

Exhibit B:

“In my view, Blackrock is the OC of Ireland”

Before I go any further, let me make this absolutely clear. We are talking about Blackrock, County Louth NOT Blackrock, County Dublin. You know, the one near Dundalk, populated by people who believe that not having a Dundalk address makes them posh. Waffler says “listen to your accent!” The picture on the right shows Blackrock. Why, there’s Seth (L), Ryan (C) and Marissa (R)…

Anyway, the man of wisdom who has uttered the immortal words is a man who has become the reason for the increase in emmigration from Ireland, an increase in the sale of Argos two-for-one cubic zirconia earrings, and why the Dundalk Democrat has become a bigger seller among socialites than VIP. Lorcan Malone was the boy who brought the MTV series ‘My Super Sweet Sixteen UK’ to his hometown for his very own self-indulgent party with the local teenage rent-a-crowd coming in handy.

The theme was Winter Wonderland. Lorcan wanted huskies. Cue the bewildered party planner who was more used to stroppy brides wanting ‘lilac’ rather than ‘pink’ candles in the hotel lobby. “There aren’t that many huskies in Ireland,” said the bloke with the eyebrows. “That’s not my problem,” said the 16-year old with the hair.

But the moment where all hope for the future of this dear country of ours was lost was the moment where Lorcan had to hand out his invites. Already having roped in two Assets models on a day out from St. Stephen’s Green, the local bingo caller and the photographer from the Dundalk Democrat, Lorcan’s agonising hours training abseiling came in handy as the crowd the Marshes Shopping Centre were aghast. Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No! It’s Lorcan is a stupid white tie! Huzzah!

I give up. Is this what the Celtic Tiger has spawned? Is it a Celtic Cub?! If it is Waffler cries for a recession! Now! NOW! Please? Bring back the eighties, all is forgiven. And anyway, who the hell in Ireland has a sixteenth anyway? Thanks to the law on driving in Ireland, there was no car in a bow – as what happens in the US version.

You can view the show and Lorcan in all his glory by clicking here.

After all that, Waffler asks a question: when is this released…?

More :: My Super Sweet Sixteen (MTV)

More :: Lorcan’s Bebo Profile!!

More :: You are invited to Lorcan’s 16th birthday party (On the Record)

Spot the Difference

Let’s play Waffler Spot the Difference! Take a look at the two front pages below. Both are the Guardian. Both are dated 9 January 2008. Trust me, there is a difference…

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Oh. Crap.

Not a good calendar, a great calendar

I’m not one to do any advertising for The Irish Times or anything. But just a note to say that the paper has a free Martyn Turner calendar for every reader tomorrow, January 9. Still probably the biggest window to planet Ireland in the whole newspaper…

More :: Martyn Turner’s Railings (ireland.com)

Constitutional Right #84: You do NOT block a shot on The O’Reilly Factor

I don’t know about you, but I’m really missing the Daily Show on our screens at the mo. There’s just so much fodder for Jon Stewart to work with these days, his daily musings could well become some sort of 24-hour rolling news service providing just a little more hilarity than the folks at Fox News. Hillary crying, Huckabee faltering, McCain arriving in New Hampshire with his zimmer, Ron Paul’s… Ron Paul.

It’s been known for some time that Fox does not like being told off, particularly when the story rotates around anything that resembles a Democrat. (Remember children, they will take your candy AND punch you in the stomach!) Hence what can only be described as the moment of the campaign in NH. Yes, forget Hillary’s tears. Waffler’s award for ‘Outstanding Achievement at the New Hampshire Primaries’ goes to Marvin Nicholson.

Marvin is just another member of the Obama team who was drafted in to protect Barack from stalkers, weirdos and Bill O’Reilly. Fortunately, the stalkers and weirdos decided not to get involved. Unfortunately, Bill decided to get physical, throw his weight around, call Marvin a ‘son of a bitch’ and shout his head off at Obama. Bill is convinced that Marvin was “a 6’8″ guy who apparently works for Obama”. If only he was shorter, Bill says in a roundabout way, Marvin would be picking pieces of O’Reilly out of his face til next week. Just another lesson in the Bill O’Reilly School of Journalism.

And when the going gets tough? Bill decided to flick through his NRA guidebook of excuses stopping on ‘it’s in the Constitution, damnit’.

No, seriously.

Even better was to happen when O’Reilly sought to explain himself live on Fox News. Let me put it to you this way: if Jeremy Paxman used these words regarding Newsnight, I’d give up on the media altogether. He stated: “No one on this Earth is going to block a shot on the O’Reilly Factor.” Nobody? Hmmm, not convinced Bill. Something tells me if Laura Bush was blocking the shot of her husband, Bill would not call Laura a ‘bitch’ or call her ‘low class’.

Still, Waffler has said it before and I’ll say it again: Isn’t it just fun to watch Fox squirm?

Take a look at the video. It’s just like The Daily Show… only funnier. My favourite part is when he starts shouting ‘Hey Senator!! A word please!’ Oh how I wish I was in the Bill O’Reilly School of Journalism…

Are you the cheese to my onion?

Following a brief forray into the world of politics which resulted in him causing more outrage among county councils than many of the candidates, Mr. Tayto is back on his latest promotion jaunt. With only four weeks until St. Hallmark Day (also known as St. Valentine’s Day), it’s time to find Mr. Tayto his very own Mrs. Tayto. In what looks to Waffler like an online version of the Lovely Girl Contest, girls are invited to upload their picture and say why they really, really should be the winner.

Regretfully, the entries so far have been a little disappointing. If the question ‘why do you want to be Mrs. Tayto’ was a witty tie-breaker competition, well I’d ask Mr. Tayto he’s better off a bachelor. Among the answers so far are:

• “I will accompany Mr. Tayto on all his business trips to promote his crisps.”
• “I know him the best.”
• “I can eat a whole bag of Tayto crisps in two minutes.”
• “I understand everything about potatoes.”
• “All my friends will vote or I’ll kill them.”
  

And my personal fave:

• “Because I love to eat crisps in bed.”

Racey.

Mr. Tayto has also (stupidly) asked guys for their cheesy chat-up lines. Waffler wouldn’t be able to reproduce any of them as the stink of cheese would be hanging around this blog for days on end. Suffice to say they’re scary. Scary.

Makes me wonder what the prize for this wonderous achievement will be? A modelling contract? A date with aforementioned Mr. Tayto? A lifetime supply of Mr. Tayto’s magnificent product? Ummm, the truth is probably nothing, nada, zilch. Maybe a kiss from a bloke dressed as Mr. Tayto and a photo in the ‘Dodgy Photo Opportunity’ section of The Chancer.

Oh, the glory!

More :: Mr. Tayto on the interweb…

Waffler is back. Back! BACK!

Jaysus, was November 13th the last time Waffler was alive and well? Unlucky for some?! Aaaannnyway, Waffler is back after his longish hibernation from the real world. Ok, sigh, I was running Hillary Clinton’s campaign until ‘someone’ found out that we’d used all but $20 million of our campaign money. I used the whole ‘the money was just resting in my account’ spiel but I’m not exactly a Taoiseach or anything!

Gosh, I really have missed out on a hell of a lot. I feel sad. There was the whole tribunal thing, there was the whole Genesis thing, there was the whole US Election thingamajig, the Radiohead thing and the whole Christmas hullaballoo. Yes, it really has been a turbulent time in the world of Ireland Inc.

Oh and I got a jumper for Christmas. Maybe you didn’t need to know that.

Now that we’re back in motion expect posts a bit more regularly. Waffler is a working man, now, don’t you know.

Oh alright, here’s what I really was doing over the past two months…